Humiliation

But an accommodation - a partnership of equals - cannot be built through a process of humiliation.
- Gerry Adams

The eMotion cafe has been busier than ever lately. My apologies to anyone who still frequents - whose names I haven't forgotten - and who still looks forward to sharing some idle dialogue while sipping on one of our favorite addictions.

As some of you know, the topic of discussion this week has been Allie and her visit to the eMotion Cafe on Monday of this week.

Allie is one of our regulars in the eMotion Cafe, since the eMotion Cafe first opened almost a decade ago. We talk briefly most every day, usually catching up on family events, her efforts to return to school, or her newest career. I try to give her the attention she demands, but it's not always easy when I'm so busy trying to keep the Cafe running smoothly.

So, things were kinda drowsy on Monday, as they are sometimes in Life. Sometimes, in the eMotion Cafe, Things go so according to Plan that the rhythm of Life in the Cafe sometimes lulls me into a Dream, and my focus slumbers.

But, then, around 5pm, Allie wandered into the Cafe, half drunk from a day of Being Angry.

It seems, Allie didn't like the way I'd arranged the new couches in the sitting area. She wandered in, ordered her Sugar Free Vanilla / Sugar Free Hazelnut / Sugar Free Chocolate Skinny Latte and made it a point to tell me that she wasn't happy. Again. She said that the new seating arrangement wasn't comfortable anymore and that she was going to try out the new Corporate Coffee Cafe because it was rumored to be far more compatible with her preferences.

Ok, so, Allie is one of my favorite regulars, usually. In fact, it was her idea to rearrange the furniture in the first place. Since she's in almost daily, she told me last week that the place needed "some changes." She said the couch would look good against the back wall and that the chairs should be grouped together. I bounced it off some others and they said it was worth a shot and so It Was. It seemed like it was a good idea, and it seemed it'd make my customer happy.

So, she wanders in today and (instead of being happy about how accomodating I've been), she just lights into me about how it doesn't feel like "home" to her anymore.

At first, I was able to keep things semi-calm in the eMotion Cafe. Then, she starts getting louder and louder (and angrier and angrier). She starts ranting about how much better the coffee shop in her hometown is. Then she starts crying.

Oh, damn. I'm a sucker for women that cry.

Finally, she takes a few breaths and is quiet. Then, she wipes her nose with a tissue I'd offered, sniffles, and says that she demands an apology for changing the whole setup because it wasn't "customer friendly".

So, right there in front of all my customers, I said "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you're not happy with the new arrangement." After all, Apologies are free to give and, sometimes, People just need an Apology from Someone to move on with their day.

So, I said I was sorry and she paid for her Latte. As I handed her credit card back to her, I noticed her full and last name for the first time: Allie B Humiliation.

Now, I just can't figure out if the couches really are better along the back wall or near the fireplace - where they were - and how much longer Allie will be part of the eMotion Cafe.

In Memory of Mark

I can't say I recall meeting Mark. Some people just flow naturally in and out of your life over the years. Mark was one of those people.

I can say that I remember so many moments with Mark, however.

We first met sometime during college through a friend of a friend. Like I said.. as years pass, things seem to become less linear and more momentous. I can say that over the first five years that I knew him, we had many adventures and many soulful conversations - sometimes during and after long, inebriated nights; sometimes on quiet Sunday mornings on a musty couch outside on his deck; and sometimes while just moving through the Ordinary of days.

What I remember most was feeling like I was his best friend when I was with him. Now, to be clear, I am not claiming to have been a "best friend" in Mark's life. He had many "better" friends who shared more of his life. We were "good" friends at times in the ebb and flow of life. We shared many "great" times together and with others in his peer circle, prior to him getting married. I am proud to say that I hired him on more than one occasion (or made sure he was hired) because he was a true friend. But, ultimately, that tide seperated us for longer and longer periods of time. Still, he had an Honesty about him that was immediately and eternally endearing.

I remember running through the cornfields outside of Lawrence, KS one night in college while Candlebox's "Far Behind" was blasting from his car - doors open and windows rolled down. We had spent the evening playing video games and drinking in an arcade / bar where a local band was playing (we all know his soul was full of music). After we closed that down, we decided to just go "experience" the cornfields of Kansas at 2am. I'm not sure I can explain why we did it, but we did. We just decided that we live in Kansas and neither of us really understood cornfields and that made sense at the time.

That was the first time he met Edra, who is now my wife, over a decade ago. It was just the three of us and it was Something I'll Never Forget - as running through the summer cornfields at in the light of the moon was just something pointless and beautiful and unforgettable - and it was Mark's idea.

I remember the first time I watched the Wizard of Oz to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon - because Mark wanted to show me how cool it was. He had that kind of Enthusiasm.

I remember Mark talking for hours about the brilliance and genius of Kurt Cobain. He had that kind of Passion.

I also remember him telling me about how, soon, the KC Royals would be good again. That was almost ten years ago. He had that kind of Faith.

I remember him talking about his family's trips to Disneyworld when he was in his early twenties. At the time, I didn't understand how someone could still get excited about Mickey Mouse and Disney at 22 years old. But, years later, and after visiting myself just last month, I can understand what Mark saw. More exactly, it wasn't what he saw but how he saw it - through the eyes of a child. He had that kind of Innocence.

I remember talking to him about so many things. But, what is most remarkable, perhaps, about Mark was that not once did he ever really say anything negative about someone. Come to think of it, I can't recall anyone ever saying anything negative about Mark. Now, this isn't hyperbole for effect - Mark Holt was that kind of person. If you met him, you truly felt like had always known him and always would know him and there was just nothing about Mark that wasn't Endearing.

Over the years, things change. We drift apart. At times, we drifted back together for moments and talked as if a day hadn't passed. We always ended our talks by planning a get-together in the near future - for him to see Edra again or meet my children, which would have meant a lot to me - for the reasons I've already detailed. But, time passes and with Mark battling Hodgkins Disease over so many years, those plans have yet to come to fruition.

However, several times I've battled with the thought of why someone golden like Mark would have to endure so much while others pass easily through this life.

After searching my heart and much prayer, the only thing that comes to my heart and mind is that God has a very important plan for him; Having touched so many in This Life, it only makes sense that God would bring him home first - to shepherd in the souls of all those who, upon seeing him, would know they had found Heaven. Someday, when Those He Touched pass from This Place, Mark will be there to hug Us and welcome Us to the Next Place.

And so with that tiniest morsel of consolation, there is a universe of Reason and Hope. And in the end, all of those who Mark touched will honor him in a myriad of ways, publicly and privately. And in this new beginning, Mark has gifted us again with his undying ability to bring together all of those who love him.

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leafs a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

Robert Frost, 1923

On the road again

The eMotion Cafe took to the road again last week.

I flew out to the Reston / Herndon, VA area for three days of Systems Enablement and Roadmapping meetings. Admit it, those words make you hot, too.

I have to admit I wasn't looking forward to hopping on a big jet plane and flying out to Washington DC on September 11th (my departure date) to go talk about Systems Roadmapping in a dark conference room with Total Strangers, but as you all know by now, everything went fine.

Luckily, I was able to work with another guy there, James, and we got everything done in about 2 days while the other folks watched in Awe. Admit it, you like the confidence.

Anyways, that meant half a day working from the hotel room and then a few hours out in Washington DC.

Beyond almost getting arrested in front of the Capitol building by two young thugs in red tshirts and blue baseball caps on sideways - they were apparently representin' the local Parking Patrol - it was a solid time. Note to the Parking Patrol at the Capitol Building: You're Posers. But, that's another story for another time.

Got a chance to explore the city on foot, in car, and by cab - and get some dorky photos in various places throughout the city. Note to Self: post them when I get a chance. So... spent some time in the Georgetown area, drove down Diplomat / Embassy Road, walked around the White House, and then went out to dinner and french kissed some Bacardi Limon and Diet Cokes, lovingly, in Alexandria, VA. Special Thanks to James, from Accenture, who acted as my tour guide and kept me from fighting Injustice by smacking down some Parking Posers. Needless to say, I got most of my sleep on the plane ride back.

Moral of the story: Washington DC gets one big thumbs up. But, the Capitol Building Parking Posers need to get their thumbs out of their asses.

14 Minutes of Fame

So, I'm officially published.

No, not like my grad school paper on token economies as motivation systems in corporate workplaces. That one is sitting somewhere in the stacks at the University of Kansas.

No, this is different.

So, at first, it was supposed to be like a short interview for a few paragraphs with several other companies for a Technology / IT magazine. Then, it turns into a 4 page feature, standalone article - and part of the cover story - and a picture.. in the print edition.

Anyways, I got my 14 min of fame after putting in like 6 hours worth of interviews and research. :)

Oh, btw, you're gonna be bored off your ass unless you're like a techie geek / dork like me.

50 pts to whoever reads past the first paragraph.

Here it is in Sept 12 version of Infoworld. Click here for the article.

So, I guess, now you all will know how dorky I really am.

:)

Ok. Ok. I'll Blog.

Trying to think of Things to Post that are irrelevent and meaningless, but slightly entertaining in the wake of Human Despair and Carnage that seems to be prevailing in our World. So, in honor of those Jungle Animals that are looting Best Buys in New Orleans while their Grandmothers, Nieces and Nephews are dying or lay trapped in the attic of their homes, I thought I'd post the last 5 CD's I've purchased from Best Buy - under non-catastrophic circumstances:

1. Damian Rice, O
2. Coldplay, X&Y
3. Scissor Sisters, Scissor Sisters
4. Joss Stone, Mind, Body, & Soul
5. Charlie & The Chocolate Factory

Ruler of a free People

So, I'm reading the Declaration of Independence today - a handy dandy pocket version. Don't ask why, but it made its way to me and I had time and I had interest and I ended up reading it cause I wanted to. Weird. Anyways, I stopped at the following section:

A Prince, whose Character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the Ruler of a free People.

The Declaration of Independence, 1776.