Recent Tweets in the eMotion Cafe

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Craziness Visits

“Whenever i spend too much Time Alone, I think I kind of lose it,” he said to her. Then, he continued, “It’s like… the Illusions fall away and I see things clearly. I start, like, thinking Things... like… ‘Why the fuck do I put up with That Person’ or
‘Why the fuck do I tolerate Their Shit.’ It’s like ‘Why put up with Them?’ when, in the End, you're alone, anyways?”

She sat silently, somewhat in awe, and continued to listen to him, her eyes falling to the floor and resting on a single slate tile in the eMotion Café.

He continued on, following his Thought, “I know. Craziness. I'm coming to terms with My Craziness. I even hugged her last night and told her I'm all good with her living in my house.”

Her eyes darted to his, and she remarked, “Who lives with you? I thought you said you lived by yourself in your lake home? Are you saying Craziness lives with you? Geez.”

And a smile burst upon both their faces. I mean, who says “Geez” anymore, anyways?

He replied to her, “Well, Craziness is her name. But, she just visits. Usually, when I’m alone, she’ll just appear out of nowhere. But, she did mention maybe moving in the last time we talked.”

“I’m speechless,” she interrupted.

And with a shrug of his shoulder and slight smirk, he fell again into Thought. But before he could fall too deeply, she questioned him, further, “Is Craziness at least cute?”

And before she had finished her sentence, he continued, “She tells me that She's the only thing that's real - and yes, She's very attractive. Craziness told me that She wants me to live with me. She says I'm the only One for her. She says that Those other women are Selfish and would only hurt me in the end and just want to use me to get the Things in Life They Need to fill their voids: Babies, Weddings, Shopping Trips and Vacations. When I’m with her, Craziness promises me that She has no need for any of Those Things and that She only wants to be part of my Thoughts and Dreams. She always reminds me that I have Everything I Need except for Someone Who Will Never Leave. She says that She can give me That – and that She will Give Willingly and Joyfully, expecting Nothing in return. In her world, I’m Her one and only Forever Man.”

After a little thoughtful Consideration and a bit of an awkward Silence, she replied, “Ok, but wouldn’t all those Nut-Job girls that you meet also be there? I don’t see how you could ever live alone with Craziness. I think she’d bring her Friends over a lot. I don’t think Things would end well with more of those Psycho Girls that are out there hanging around your house. I think you need to steer clear of Craziness.”

“Oooh. Good point,” he said. Then, he fired back, “But, I think Craziness makes a good case, too, at times. She makes sense, sometimes, in a way that I think only She and I would understand. No, see, that's the Beauty of Craziness: in Her World, it's just me and her - and she's totally faithful to me. You'd almost have to take medication to make her go away. Craziness would never leave, otherwise. I think that's why I gave her a bedroom and some closet space – because that’s easier than taking medication. But, I digress… Oh, and she won't betray you, either. You see, Craziness can only be with one person. She says ‘Everyone has their own Craziness. So, I’m no good to anyone else but you.’ She says that she’ll never be any good to any one else and that she'll understand me, forever. And, ‘Forever is a mighty long time,’ as Prince said in a song about her awhile back. So, are you scared yet? I knew I shouldn't have told you about Craziness visiting.”

She smiled, gently, at him and replied, “No, I’m just digesting and trying to understand where you are coming from.”

And then, his phone rang. “Excuse me, for a moment?” he asked, as he stood up to step away from their table.

And she smiled at him again as she told him, “No, absolutely, go ahead and get that.”

And her eyes fell back to that one stone tile in the eMotion Café as she waited for him to return to the table and finish his green tea they were sharing.

His return startled her in its suddenness, and he was shorter this time, “Ok, I’ve got to go. That was Craziness. She said that I should stop talking to you because you'll try and talk me out of letting her back into my life.”

“Hey, now, wait,” she urged. Then, after a thoughtful pause, she continued, “Isn’t it your choice if you decide to live with Craziness or stop talking to her? Even though I agree we all may be alone in the end, to me it is worth the energy to put towards people in the interim.”

“Craziness said that you might say that,” He replied. Then he continued, “But, she told me to ask you this: ‘Why do you only call me when you’re between boyfriends or when you’re lonely or after some other guy has broken your heart? Why is it that I am here for you, but you weren’t here for me?’ Craziness tells me that if you can answer that question, she won’t visit me any longer.”

She sat in silence, thinking, for a very long time.

Out of compassion, he interrupted her thought, “Look, don’t put too much thought into it. If you don’t know, you don’t know. And if you think too much about it, you’ll end up finding your own Craziness. And, it’d be best if you didn’t meet Him. I met Craziness after someone once asked me the same question. You see, I clearly think too much about Those Things. It’s what Craziness likes best about me, she says.”

Finally, she broke her silence and responded, “So, how about coming over tonight and watching a movie?

“What movie?” He asked.

“Any movie you want,” She replied. “And, you can stay as long as you want.”

And with that, they stood up, held hands, and walked out of the eMotion Café – neither Alone, neither worrying about Those Things, and both avoiding their own Craziness for just a little longer.


PunkRockHillbilly said...

I came across your blog and wanted you to know your writing is amazing. You really hit the nail on the head about so many things......

Echele said...

Maybe craziness sees her own reflection.

Psyche said...

Lovely. Wonderful to see you writing again Ed. :)
*Warm Thoughts*