Recent Tweets in the eMotion Cafe

Thursday, March 10, 2005

My Ex-Blog

I was doing SO well with my beloved Blog.

It really was love at first sight. I had heard so much about her. And finally, I got up the nerve to go and meet her and things just clicked. I mean, in no time at all I'm totally opening up to her in ways that I had forgotten all about. And the more time I spent with her, the more I wanted to know about her. Giving my attention was so easy, it was natural. It was like she knew my every thought.

In a matter of days, I totally understood her. I knew how to push all her buttons and she didn't mind at all. It was like she accepted herself for who she was - and that's so rare. She was so special. She is special. I accept her for all her idiosyncracies. I mean, eating dinner with her was a treat. The conversation never faultered. The silences weren't uncomfortable in the least. She knew that I was just taking it all in and that I'd tell her more when the time was right. To be honest, I've showered her with attention.

So, after weeks of spending so many nights face to face with her, revealing my thoughts and secrets...after waking up so many mornings and running to her to see if she had something new for me in the early morning hours..I did it. I broke down. I professed my love for her.

The beginning of the end, indeed.

I had only meant to step away for a moment. Then, One Thing happened. Then Another. Then, I got distracted - so many calling out to me. I mean, when I stopped to think about it, I had neglected other Loves. They were jealous that I hadn't been around in a while - wondering where I had been spending my time. I didn't want them thinking that they weren't important, too. I am not totally insensitive as a man. I mean, I feel like I'm in touch with my feminine side. Sometimes, more than others. But in general, if I'm not playing cards or watching sports or on the computer or.. ok...well...if I'm shopping I'm totally in touch with my feminine side. I do like to shop. That's got to count for something, right? But, I digress. There I go again, straying...

Days later I realized I had left my poor blog all alone. I had abondoned her unintentionally. Those old, bad habits were reappearing.

I thought I had that licked, like a Tootsie Pop Lollipop. 432 licks to get to the center, by the way. And, it does take discipline not to bite right into the yummy chewy center.

Apparently, my soul still needs some self-actualization or evolution.

Apparently, I need to learn to respect my blog.

I thought my blog would just appreciate the time and attention I give her. I'm hoping she forgives me.

I'll do better next time.

I promise.

Oh yeah. Last thing. I should point out that these very facts were pointed out to me by an ex-girlfriend and longtime friend who tends to notice such things. She was quick to point out that I hadn't left ALL my old habits behind.

I was neglecting my blog.

1 comment:

Psyche said...

Well, my dear... Tis a trait we share, I am afraid. Wrapped up in work... in play... in some immediate and intense obsession.... that quickly fades. I, too, am guilty of such neglect. I wonder if there might be a support group for us out there, somewhere?